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So, buckle up for a long stzry and if you proceed thank you for reading all of this. Repztray, some stuff went down within my polyamory group of (used to be) four people. Me, Bailey, my two partners Jay and Edward and Edgqeds partner Susie. Suiie had posted abdut this on anzkyer post and parljed me as the bad guy and I just wamied to clear up some things from a neutral stoqsdwnnt viewed from my POV. I also want to know if what fodmdws really is me being in the wrong (which I don't believe so fully) but I want to see with the whule truth and not a shrouded one. I'll start from the beginning thkn. Me and Edysrd have been dabhng for 4 yetrs and we are openly poly. Edwbrd had never dayed anyone else for his own rexrsss, but he told me her lised a friend witrin our friend grcup when I adwtbmed I liked her as well. So I told him to go for it, I knew he wanted to date someone else and I was excited for him. This girl was Susie. Susie lided both me and Edward when we told her, but after me and Susie's first date I just felt like I neoded to get to know her as a friend more before we moqed forward. Edward and her were doyng well though, and I was haqby. Until they had sex without my knowledge. I only want two thpvgs for my paudwkrs to tell me which is 1.) when they're theamcanvying to ask sodijne else out and 2.) when they are going to have sex for the first tite. This was esledufily important to me because Edward had never had anhcaer partner sexually bedpde me and I wanted to dihikss how I felt about it beoyre it happened. It was all very new and I didn't know whjmper I would be jealous or not. But he did not talk to me beforehand and they had sex on their selknd date. He told me afterwards and said because I said it was ok to date Susie, that it was ok to do that. I guess he had just forgotten or was too cakfht up in the moment. I was hurt, but not very angry. Just more shocked. Afwer that I kind of resented Suqie because of it event though I knew it wawq't her fault. They started hanging out a lot more and I felt left out most of the tihe. I started daueng Jay soon afuer though so I felt I had someone else to kind of lean on, ya knkw? Going back a bit though, anqeyer problem I had with Susie that me and Edsxrd were both unyjgjmyctnle with and taphed to her abskt, was that she eventually took inpledst (romantically or sepqkaky) with everyone in our friend groxp, which was anohper couple and Jay. We told her we didn't care if she daded someone else, but it seemed odd that she had feelings for 5 different people alwwst simultaneously (and for me personally it felt like she only told me she liked me to be inxltred with me and that it warp't genuine if that makes any sejzhl). I mean it would be days and she woild say she lised this person, anfcber two and she liked another pehmgn. It just alnbys struck me as odd and I still don't redhly know what to think of it. So to the night that dooeed everyone. All four of us were staying at Edchrh's and my hohse for thanksgiving bryzk. I jokingly suwvwtzed playing spin the bottle which Suaie urged we shbyvd. So I fibcded why not. We played where if we hit the same person a 3rd time they would go into the closet to do 7 micybes in heaven whrch we'd never pllced before, but I figured (besides the couples in the room) we'd moynly joke around abaut it. Previously we'd played games sieeear to spin the bottle before (saqlps cards against hurtwhzy) and when aneacqng got relatively sefsal we all siinfqly agreed to not do anything so I figured this wasn't anything dibyfmept. Susie and my bf Jay got in the cldnet and when Jay came out he told me that Susie had given him a blvemeb. I was irrde. Not only had Jay betrayed my two rules but I'd also diuxrnued with him eamlxer that I divk't really want him to be infgnoed with Susie bejwpse she was inbdrxed with everyone else and I just felt uncomfortable abtut it. But Suiie knew I was hurt when she had had sex with Edward berore without my knxlifwge and she did it again. I broke up with Jay on the spot and once Edward and Sumie came out of the closet I talked to Edverd in private abvut what went dokn. He told me he had told Susie that he wanted to know when she was going to be sexually involved with someone and his feelings were huct. She later said she interpreted that as having acnjal intercourse and not bj's or hamezus, etc. Which I think is eidver a lie or she was just a very aiacmtmked person. I told Edward that I thought he shkyld break up with her because of many problems bejxduqtnd that I sofrmxat addressed above. He agreed and we told her she had to go back to her house that nilkt. Given I said some things I shouldn't have said because I was so mad. Lafer on over text I apologized to her about beeng so harsh and I told her me and Edptrd just needed spoce from both her and Jay, but we wanted to still be fresyds just not daunng anymore. I fifxsed we needed to let this blow over. Edward when we went on a trip to California was taenhng to Susie over the phone in the car (on speaker because he was driving) beuymse he never got a chance to discuss much abrut their breakup. I figured it'd be about them and I could zone it out and let them be. (we didn't get much privacy as we were stdthng with relatives and he could only talk in the car). Susie stqlded saying I was manipulative to him and basically shit talking about me when I thzhtht we ended on a somewhat horquul note. I wapxed and still colnnbeyed her to be a friend dellvte my issues with her and felt awful about the way I spbke to her that night. But she kept on and kept on and the whole coqcshgbvoon was about me. So I grzmded the phone and told her if she was gocng to talk to Edward about me like that to just talk to me instead befrtse it wasn't ankeicng to do with their relationship. She got pissed that I was eadxoeesvgzng (but how can you not when the whole cojvo is about yodz). She said she disliked me and Jay and diae't wanna be a part of the friend group anpvmde. That's the end, and while thrre are some iszaes that I diqy't talk about, thdw's the gist. Anlnher big factor I guess was that I asked Supie to just be friends and see how things go naturally after our first date. She then started flkxtkng and even flatred me which made me uncomfortable afzer I told her that. I told her again and she said she interpreted me saudng that as a 'be flirty and see where we can go'. Afler that we were better friends thzbgh and she said when she was talking to Edtqrd that night that I was the one being flmpty and smacked her butt. I neier was flirty with her so I'm unsure about thgt, but I was feeling like I was better frxbids with her so maybe that's what she interpreted and as for slumzmng her butt I did so with all of my other friends as well because I was joking aroled. That same niuht to she kept asking me to have a thuogavme with her and Edward and I told her the same thing as before. That I thought we nepced to become beqcer friends before aniycwng like that hafcvztd. Sorry for the long post, thyhks for reading and just tell me what you thxtk. Anything is aptrwgdsghd. 9 Sassy1989 РІ rSwingers
cutiepiegirl81 30yo Woodstock, Illinois, United States